


Selfish Secret

by ABrighterDarkness



Series: PoTS Stocking Exchange [5]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Break Up, Breaking Up & Making Up, Jealous Tony Stark, M/M, Regret
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-02
Updated: 2020-02-02
Packaged: 2021-02-25 20:33:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21741514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ABrighterDarkness/pseuds/ABrighterDarkness
Summary: He felt a heavy roll of animosity and jealousy roll through him strong enough to make his teeth ache as he watched that familiarly muscled arm drape over someone else’s shoulders.  Tony could feel that comforting weight across his own as crystal clear in memory as the visual he was being treated to.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Series: PoTS Stocking Exchange [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1626244
Comments: 6
Kudos: 89
Collections: POTS (18+) Stony Stocking 2019





	Selfish Secret

**Author's Note:**

  * For [FestiveFerret](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FestiveFerret/gifts).
  * In response to a prompt by [FestiveFerret](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FestiveFerret/pseuds/FestiveFerret) in the [stony_stocking_2019](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/stony_stocking_2019) collection. 



> **Prompt:**
> 
> 1) FestiveFerret#8704 
> 
> 2) SHORT PROMPTS:  
> \-- Laughing during sex  
> \-- "Is that a goat?"  
> \-- Wearing each other's clothes
> 
> 3) LONG PROMPTS:  
> \-- Steve and Tony broke up a few months ago, but when Tony sees Steve dating someone new, he realizes he never got over him. He tries to win Steve back, only to find out that Steve was never dating that person, and he wants to get back together too.  
> \-- Steve and Tony find themselves alone at the tower together for the holidays. They each share one of their holiday traditions with the other (music, food, presents, anything!). Love blooms.  
> \-- Tony is spending his summer working at a petting zoo when a super hot guy shows up with two kids in tow. Animal wackiness, kid shenanigans, and falling for each other ensues. (Kids can be single parent Steve's, or someone else's he's caring for).
> 
> 4) DO NOT WANTS:  
> \-- Graphic underage, bathroom kinks, Major character death (unless temp or presumed), unhappy endings, CACW discourse, IW discourse, EG discourse, any character hate/bashing/negativity, woobification, dark!characters.
> 
> 5) ADDITIONAL WANTS:  
> \-- I knit and cook and would love patterns, recipes, or beautiful pictures of food/yarn. I love all animals. links to videos of babies doing that uncontrolled laughing thing over something dumb, or animals falling off stuff. I like soft, tropey romance, and gut-wrenching angst that ends in super happily ever afters. I prefer Get Together fic over Established Relationship, but both are good. I like multiverse stuff and multiSteve/multiTony ships/orgies/threesomes. I adore art of all kinds. I love anything that has anything to with any of my fics (moodboards, translations, reviews, pics that remind you of them etc) or ashes0909's fics. I love reclists for things that fit my wants/tags or prompts. I love ferrets! <3

Tony could admit that he was a greedy, selfish man. There were more times than he bothered to acknowledge that he insistently wanted what he wanted when he wanted it. More importantly for the situation at hand, he didn’t like to share his toys with others. Not at all. Perhaps there was something massively wrong with him for referring to _people_ as his _toys._ But it was what it was and he wasn’t going to take it back. Because, in this case, it was significant.

He felt a heavy roll of animosity and jealousy roll through him strong enough to make his teeth ache as he watched that familiarly muscled arm drape over someone else’s shoulders. Tony could feel that comforting weight across his own as crystal clear in memory as the visual he was being treated to. Objectively, Tony was well aware that he had little right to the feelings rolling through him considering  _ he _ was the one to call it quits on their relationship.

But that was immaterial at the moment. It grated something terrible to watch Steve nearly bowled over in laughter strong enough to shake his large frame. It was a terrible thing to watch his arm come across Sam Wilson’s shoulders tugging him in closer to hold himself up. Bitterness flooded Tony’s veins at witnessing Wilson’s goading grin as he continued whatever banter had led to Steve’s breathless state to begin with.

What was worse was that Tony could actually see why they would work well together. Both morally strong, righteous men. Steve had instinctively trusted Wilson upon first meeting in a way that it had taken Tony  _ months _ to come even close to achieving. Even before Tony ended the relationship, Steve had always spoken fondly about Sam. His eyes narrowed when Steve said something that caused Wilson to playfully swat at his stomach, mock-glaring even as the pair doubled into laughter again. It should be satisfying to see Steve so happy, something Tony had been so convinced he would never be able to offer the man. It wasn’t. It was a blow to the gut that Tony hadn’t been anticipating.

Months. They’d been apart for months and Tony realized now that he never stopped thinking of Steve as  _ his. _ Seeing him so chummy with Wilson only confirmed that hadn’t changed even a tiny bit. He also realized that he was still very much  _ Steve’s _ too. Tony eyed the pair speculatively. They had moved into chairs, settling back into their own comfortably but body’s still turned in each other’s direction. Steve’s arm was no longer across Wilson’s shoulders but was still draped over the back of the man’s chair. They weren’t touching as far as Tony could see but there was still a connective air between them that was nearly palpable. Still that small amount of physical disconnect was enough to give Tony a sliver of hope to cling to that just maybe he still had a chance.

With a decisive nod, Tony snatched his drink from the table in front of him and maneuvered his way through the throng of party goers until he reached the target table and dropped gracefully into an open seat across from the pair. He probably shouldn't have felt so satisfied at the way their attention immediately broke away from each other and landed on him. Shouldn’t but boy did he. 

“Steve, Wilson,” Tony nodded in greeting, feeling awfully proud at how even he managed to keep his tone. 

“Tony,” Steve returned with a small smile that made something inside Tony’s chest twist painfully.

“Stark!” Wilson sat straight up in his chair, waving his hands in urgent indication. “Just the man I been wanting to talk to. Help me talk some sense into this asshole.”

“Quit while you’re ahead, Wilson,” Tony quipped automatically, his tone turning far more fond than he’d meant to reveal so soon. He cleared his throat awkwardly and tilted his glass, “What’s he done this time?”

“ _ Nothing, _ ” Steve insisted, interrupting before Sam could do more than open his mouth. Sam and Tony simultaneously arched brows in disbelief and Steve automatically flinched at the reaction before grinning sheepishly. He ducked his head and shrugged.

“Wilson?” Tony prompted suddenly insatiably curious as to what would draw that particular reaction from Steve. His eyes narrowed slightly at witnessing the exchange of an entire conversation wrapped snugly into a handful of loaded glances. 

“You heard we followed that Hydra lead last week right?” Sam questioned and at Tony’s nod of confirmation he shook his head and indicated to Steve who was pointedly looking away from both of them. The tell-tale pink tinge on his cheeks and ears told Tony that this story was guaranteed to be interesting. “They saw us incoming and started firing at the jet. So what’s your boy do? Go ahead, Stark, take a wild guess.”

“Sam,” Steve said, tone low in warning. He flashed an uncomfortably guilty look in Tony's direction, brief enough that Tony almost didn’t catch it.

“Nope,” Sam shot down immediately. “Nuh-uh, You don’t get to ‘ _ Sam’ _ me, Rogers. You decide to make stupid ass decisions you get to live with the consequences so shut up and let me tell your story.”

Steve grimaced and eyed Tony hesitantly before looking away from the table again. Tony arched a brow in question. Well, _that_ was interesting.

Sam glared at Steve for a long moment as though waiting to see if he would interrupt again. When he was satisfied that no further commentary was coming, he looked back at Tony. “He decides to draw the fire away from the jet. Jumps--no ‘chute,  _ again _ \--into live fire with his shield on his back.”

“Steve,” Tony breathed in disbelief. Of the stupid decisions that Steve was well-known for making, that one inched near the top of the list. 

Sam nodded, seemingly glad to have someone back up his ire. “The idiot of course gets shot out of the air and tries to brush it off as no big thing, right? Because ‘the serum’. Never mind that it was a gut shot. Never mind that Sam Wilson got front row seats to watch his best friend get shot down right out of the air for the  _ second _ time in his life. No forget all that. Because  _ ‘the serum’ _ .”

“Sam,” Steve said again, though this time the tone was heavily guilt laden rather than warning. 

“Nope,” Sam interrupted again. “Not gonna listen to it. So, Stark, gonna help me knock some sense into your boy or what?”

Tony blinked rapidly, taking the conversation into component pieces in his mind. The recklessness itself was undoubtedly disturbing, let alone pulling that kind of stunt alongside someone who had lived through the same sort of tragedy before. While the recklessness was purely Steve Rogers, the cruelty of that particular scenario was decidedly  _ not. _ There was something else that Tony felt he was missing and Steve wouldn’t meet his eye which only confirmed that theory. 

“Sounds like a pretty dick move there, Rogers,” he commented. “I’d ask what you were thinking but it’s pretty obvious that you weren’t.” 

Steve’s attention snapped up and dropped again just as quickly. Sam was nodding in agreement and pointed to Tony, ”Exactly. Maybe he'll listen to you. I already know my words don't stick.”

Tony bit back a grimace and shrugged dismissively, “Doubtful. Don't think I've really got the kind of pull you're hoping for, Wilson.” He noted Steve's weary grimace with interest. 

”Right, ” Sam said sarcastically. ”’Cause I didn't count an easy dozen ’Tony says’ comments on the last Op.”

Wait, what?

Tony stared at him in confusion and Steve was determinedly avoiding all eye contact with the other two men at the table while turning an interesting shade of red. The missing pieces seemed to suddenly fall into place. Sam seemed to realize in that same moment that there was something more occurring around him than just talking sense into his friend. 

”I think that's my cue, ” Sam said awkwardly. He clapped his hand down on Steve's shoulder and nodded to Tony before quickly departing from the table. Apparently, he wasn't nearly as eager to solve the mystery. 

Tony waited until Sam was out of earshot, staring curiously at Steve who was finally looking back guiltily. ”You never told him, ” Tony stated blankly. 

”I-I…” Steve stammered before sighing, his whole posture sinking on the exhale. ”No, I didn't. I'm sorry, Tony.”

”Why?” Tony asked, unable to bite back his curiosity. It had been  _ months _ and he hadn’t even told his supposed best friend that they’d broken up? It didn’t make sense. Or maybe...maybe it made all too much sense. But Tony wasn’t about to get his hopes up that high.

Steve crossed his arms across his chest protectively and turn his head away, swallowing heavily. Tony watched his jaw work as he considered his answer. “Guess I didn’t want to admit it aloud,” he said finally, voice rough. He turned his head back, meeting Tony's gaze sadly. “I know that’s really selfish and disrespectful of me and you deserve better than that. I swear I’ll clear it up with Sam. A-and everyone else.”

“Everyone else?” Tony echoed. “You didn’t tell  _ anyone?” _

Steve’s gaze dropped back to the table awkwardly, “I think Nat figured it out but no, I didn’t tell anyone.”

Tony sank heavily into his seat in disbelief. Barely an hour ago, he had been all but seething with jealousy, barely able to breathe through the weight of it. And to find out that virtually no one knew about the terrible mistake that Tony had made? How was he  _ this _ lucky?

Tony quickly reigned in his excitement. Just because Steve hadn’t announced their split didn’t automatically mean that he would actually take him back. He got to his feet, catching Steve’s panicked expression before it was quickly masked. “Take a walk with me,” Tony said. “Please.”

Steve slowly stood and rounded the table. Tony wasted no time leading the way out of the large banquet hall. Tony silently guided them through the doors and into the night. After a moment’s deliberation on how he wanted to play this out,Tony shifted his gait and used the surprise to shove Steve into the brick wall of the building. Steve grunted on impact but Tony seamlessly muffled the sound with an urgent kiss. 

He could feel the startled gasp and the way the large body under his hands began to tremble. Steve cautiously leaned into the kiss, his own hands pressed flat against the wall, presumably to keep from touching. And that wasn't what Tony wanted at all. He pressed insistently closer, planting one foot in between Steve's until he could lean bodily into the other man. 

Large hands rose, finally, to gently cup his face and carefully pulled him back effectively breaking the kiss. Tony regretted bringing them outside, the lack of light made it difficult to see those beautiful blue eyes. Steve studied his face intently, looking for some indication of what Tony might be thinking. ”Tony?”

”I fucked this up, Steve. I know I did, ” Tony confessed. ”I knew it the moment the words left my mouth and I was too damned stubborn to take them back right then and there. I should have. I know I should have. And I didn't. And I don't--I don't deserve another chance. But…”

Steve's expression was one of wary hope. Like he desperately wanted to believe what he was hearing but was afraid to. ”But?”

Tony met his gaze solemnly and spoke as clearly as he was capable, ”But, if you can find it possible to give me one anyway, I swear to you Steve, I'll spend as long as it takes to make it up to you.”

Steve hesitated, frowning slightly. “I-I...Tony, ” he signed shakily, hands still cupping Tony's face in a gentle grip. ”Please,  _ please _ tell me you're serious.”

”I am 100%, completely and utterly serious,” Tony promised. “Give me a chance to prove it to you.” Steve’s hands dropped from his face and Tony found himself pulled into a tight hug that he immediately melted into. ”I’m sorry, ” he murmured quietly. 

There were lips on his again. This time lacking the urgency which was replaced by a deep-seated tenderness that Tony had almost forgotten that he had missed so much. This time when Steve withdrew from the kiss, his smile was addictively radiant. If he hadn’t already known, Tony would have been assured then and there that he had made the correct decision. 


End file.
